Assignment 5.3: Comparing Styles

1. Learning Targets

2. Style

To describe style, it is necessary to explain the techniques the writer has used, and describe how he or she has created a particular voice and given the work a particular tone. Consider the children's rhyme Humpty Dumpty.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses, and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again

A person might explain the style of the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty as follows:

"The writer's use of rhythmic language and end rhyme creates a cheerful, playful tone. The simple words and short line lengths create a childlike voice that is interestingly at odds with the literal events - the main character's tragic death by falling off a wall."

Style, then, is the result of the author's choice of diction, figurative language, and sentence structure.

Read over this handout on Writing About Style.

One of the hallmarks of a mature writer is control of style. The most proficient writers can write in a variety of styles, just as a skilled piano player can play a Mozart piano concerto in the manner of the late eighteenth century, then play a Fats Waller jazz piece, and do both effectively. Style for a pianist involves a great deal more than simply hitting the right notes; likewise, style for a writer is more than simply arranging words into statements. Style should be consistent throughout a piece; inconsistencies indicate lack of control or, at least, lack of awareness of style.

Copyright 2010, Open School BC

3. Diction

Diction deals with the literal meaning of words (their denotation), their emotional loading (or connotation), and the sound of the words (rough or smooth being two contrasts). Let's look at two passages that mean approximately the same thing but are written in two different styles.

• I hate it when I have to walk through a crowd of teen punks at a bus stop. They look me up and down. Their eyes are empty. Their faces are blank. They don't move out of the way for me. I feel that they want to hurt me.
  
  
• I strongly dislike the necessity of walking through gatherings of alienated youth at bus shelters. They slide their expressionless eyes over me without reaction, keeping their faces neutral as though I were nonexistent. They decline to recognize my need to walk on the sidewalk. It appears certain that they desire to cause me bodily harm.

Notice that each of these passages represents differences in tone and style.

The first passage contains many one-syllable words that have negative connotations and hard consonant sounds (e.g., hate, punks, empty, blank, hurt). In addition, all the sentences are short and almost curt.

In contrast, the second passage uses many multi-syllable words. This makes it flow smoothly, so it is mellower in its impact than the first passage. None of the words in the second passage has strong negative connotations. Further, its sentences are relatively long. The general effect is one of smoothness and neutrality.

One style is not necessarily better than the other: both could be equally effective if placed in the right context in a work of fiction. The second passage would seem inappropriate if the character were, say, a young teenage boy. The diction and tone should be in keeping with the speaker they represent.

4. Figurative Language

Figurative language creates its effect by suggesting meaning beyond the literal interpretation of the words. These words add impact and make both prose and poetry more vivid because they appeal to the reader's imagination. You can also review your notes and lessons from Assignment 3.1.

Here is a passage without figurative language, adapted from "The Painted Door" by Sinclair Ross:

She moved briskly, performing each little task with careful and exaggerated absorption, thinking carefully about it, using it to keep from thinking about the surrounding snow and silence. Above the quiet, steady sound of her paintbrush against the bedroom door, the sound of the clock became noticeable. Suddenly her movements became precise and deliberate . . . and she felt that she was not alone and that someone was watching her. It was the silence again, which seemed to be threatening, and always there.

Here is the same passage, with figurative language added in italics:

She moved briskly, performing each little task with careful and exaggerated absorption, binding her thoughts to it, making a screen between herself and the surrounding snow and silence. Above the quiet, steady swishing of her brush against the bedroom door, the clock began to tick. Suddenly her movements became precise, deliberate . . . as if someone had entered the room and were watching her. It was the silence again, aggressive, hovering.

Look closely at the figurative language that was used to heighten the impact of the story.

1. "binding her thoughts to it" is a metaphor showing how she used work to keep her mind occupied, to keep out unwelcome thoughts.

2. "making a screen between herself and the surrounding snow and silence" is another metaphor, showing how the character uses work to create a wall between her and both the silence inside and the dangerous weather outside.

3. "swishing" is onomatopoeia; it imitates the sound of a loaded paint brush spreading colour onto wood.

4. "as if someone had entered the room and were watching her" is a simile that makes the reader more vividly conscious of how uneasy the character feels.

5. ". . . the silence again, aggressive, hovering" is an example of personification, in which the reader easily shares the protagonist's fear of the invisible silence that is always with her.

6. "the surrounding snow and silence"  is an example of alliteration where the repetition of the "s" is repeated to enhance the isolation and silence of the setting.

5. Tone, Mood, and Voice

• Tone is the emotional colouring of a piece of writing. It reflects the author's attitude and the feelings that he or she puts into the writing. It can, for instance, be angry, demanding, or humorous. The author controls the tone by choosing diction, sentence structure, and figurative language that will heighten the desired effect on the reader.  Here is a list of words that can be used to describe tone. You can also review writing about tone from the Class Handouts folder at the top of the course.

• Mood, by contrast, is the emotional feeling that the reader gets from the writing. Usually the mood is clearly related to the tone, for the tone creates the mood of the reader. Mood is also affected by figurative language, sentence structure, and diction. Here is a list of words that can be used to describe mood. You can also review writing about mood from the Class Handouts folder at the top of the course.
  
  
• Voice, if you are thinking along the movie analogy, is a role that the writer takes on while writing. We say the writer writes "in the voice" of someone . . . A personal voice is an expression of a writer's own thoughts and personality. For example, an autobiographical story or personal narrative about an event from the author's childhood might be written as though the author were telling the story in person.

• A persona is a voice created by the writer to help the reader accept the ideas in the writing. For instance, a murder mystery might be told in the voice of a detective. The reader knows the writer is not actually a detective, but the use of words and images from the world of criminal investigation helps make the story come alive. Or, a persuasive essay can be written in the voice of an expert, using impersonal language and a tone of authority. In poetry, the voice may sound very personal, but can actually be a persona the writer has created. There is often no way for the reader to tell.

You can also review your notes and lesson from Assignment 4.2.

6. ASSIGNMENT 5.3

Go to "5.3 Comparing Style" Assignment on the main page of the course to complete this section.