ELA6, CSS, Sferrazza

Revising is your chance to improve your first draft by adding, deleting, changing, and moving ideas around.

You may need to revise your essay two or three times before you are fully satisfied with it.

STEP ONE: DELETE "I THINK" AND OTHER "I STATEMENTS".

These sentences became stronger because I-statements were removed.

I-statement examples are:

• I think...
• I believe...
• I know...
• I say...

Using I-statements makes your writing weaker because it highlights this information as your opinion. Also, by saying, "I think" or "I believe," it shows a level of uncertainty.  By cutting out I-statements, it makes your writing feel more like a fact. People are swayed more by facts than opinion.

Example: I think it is a good idea to read a book every day for at least 30 minutes.

Change to:

Example: It is a good idea to read a book every day for at least 30 minutes.

STEP TWO: CHOOSE STRONG MODAL VERBS AND POWERFUL ADVERBS.

STRONG MODAL VERBS

Must and will show we are sure about our beliefs or that something has to happen. Could, might, can, and may are much weaker. 

POWERFUL ADVERBS

Possibly, perhaps, maybe, possibly, and definitely are all adverbs. They change the power of a verb in different ways.

To be convincing, make sure to cut out weak adverbs. It is better to just have a strong verb on its own. Definitely is definitely the best choice.

STEP THREE: Ask yourself these questions as you revise your work.

• Does my opening paragraph hook the reader? 
• Did I state my position clearly in my thesis statement?
• Is it clear where my paragraph breaks are? 
• Do I stay on topic?
• Am I convincing? Will others agree with my opinion about the impact of poetry after they read my "evidence"?
• Does my information flow easily from one paragraph to another? Do I use transition words to enhance the flow?
• Does my closing paragraph restate my thesis, summarize the main point from each body paragraph, and end with a personal comment or call to action (such as a prediction, question, recommendation, or quotation)?

 

Patrol your writing for CUPS:

1. Submit a copy of your completed Writer's Workshop assignment template that contains your revised and edited draft. 
2. Then, wait for feedback from your teacher before doing your final copy. 
3. Use the feedback your teacher gives you to make revisions. 
4. Then you will have a final copy ready to submit.